School Appropriate?

Is God school appropriate?

I had this thought just now as I contemplated mentioning the word "Savior" (referencing Jesus's birth in Bethelehem), in a final project for my Flash class.

I contemplate only because the primary person who will be looking at the final product is my Flash instructor, who may or may not be a Christian (or at least appreciate the Christian sentiment).

I'm gonna do it. The guidelines don't mention anything about whether people have to actually agree with it. After all, if the early Christians hadn't turned a pagan holiday into a Christ-oriented holiday, where would we be right now? I doubt people would be putting light displays of the three wise men or nativity scenes out on their front lawns.

Random tangent? Perhaps. Considering that I've now wasted a good five to ten minutes first contemplating the thought, deciding to log on to write it, write it, and post it. Yup. Tangent.

Cheers, and - Happy Thanksgiving!

Your Love is Strong

This weekend has been incredible to me.

I meant to do homework, as always, but it didn't happen.

Something even better happened - God kept working in me, and I felt His Spirit and it was awesome. Why? Here are the reasons:

1. Jon Foreman. Many of you many know he's the lead singer of Switchfoot (a rather good band; one of my favorites). Less of you know he's also embarked on some solo endeavors. He released two EPs, titled Spring and Summer, and Fall and Winter. They are, in a word, beautiful. I'm particularly partial to the "Spring" songs right now, but I'm sure the rest will also grow on me in due time. If you've not heard Jon's solo stuff, I highly suggest it!
2. I've been feeling the call to leave my church for several months; there's no one there my age. After being surrounded by so many of my own age this summer with the same beliefs, I definitely feel that I need to be with believers my own age. I've found a group that, hopefully, will provide that.
3. My now-former church is an ELCA congregation. Because of the policies the ELCA recently passed, several other church members have decided to bow out as well. It was not easy; they are our family. But we've begun something new together. Whether we join a different church, or begin a mission church of our own, I'm excited.
4. Music will forever and always be my favorite way to praise the Lord. Listening to this new (to me) music of Jon Foreman's is incredible. Singing tonight - acapella - at a church gathering (of those of us who've left our aforementioned church) made me smile. Our summer Program Director at Mowana, Karen, loved those shalom moments. She felt they were so amazingly experienced through song; I agree with her. Tonight was the epitome of that.
5. I purchased a book entitled The Naked Gospel. I will admit - since the summer, I have not opened my Bible. This is not good. I know it. I need to make it a priority, and I'm feeling called back towards it. Hopefully The Naked Gospel will provide interesting insight to a beautiful Word I will always explore.
6. Despite everything, or perhaps because of it, my relationship with God continues to change and grow in wonderful ways. And through it, He's able to show me so many different ways He loves me. It is incredible.

On a completely unrelated, but very exciting, note: My iPod works again! I plugged it in a couple months ago to a warning that read "Your iPod is corrupted. Please reset to the factory settings." That was all well and good - but I wasn't able to; it kept crapping out.

It must've known it was getting replaced shortly (I put 'look up/order iPod' on a list of things to do). So to give it a fair chance, I plugged it in again just to see if it'd work. And what do you know? It works. It's got a full charge, and an updated song list.

My life has been hard, but my life has also been easy. There are days were I feel like I really am walking on water, and there are days were I feel lower than the lowest pond scum. But ultimately, it has been good. Because God's love is strong.

He will lift you up if only you let Him.

Peace.

Longing for Christmas

It is October 29th, and Halloween festivities are in full swing.

But my mind is far from Halloween. I do not know why, but I am longing for Christmas right now. I have no clue why. Scenes from "It's a Wonderful Life" keep popping up in my head, and I want to watch it, though I always make the deal with myself each year that I will only watch it on Christmas Eve, or a day very close to it.

I was looking for music to play just now, and I wanted holiday music. I love Christmas music. I used to love the secular stuff like "Jingle Bell Rock" and the old Bing Crosby hits, and I still do to some extent.

During my rebirth the Spirit introduced me to Christmas carols in a whole new way, and since then they've held an incredibly special place in my heart - never to fade. That is a joyful thing.

But I do believe, despite all the aforementioned, that my favorite holiday tune is none of the above. No: It's Carol of the Bells. My mother has a habit of buying compilation CDs. One such CD is one from 2002, and on it The Calling performs a very warming rendition of Carol of the Bells. The first time I heard it I fell in love with it, and it's been the single song I always think of and want to hear a holiday song.

Why? To me, there is something ethereal about it that I cannot get past. I simply must keep listening to it.

So, on this Hallow's eve (of eve of eve) I won't be thinking about ghosts, goblins, witches, wizards, or (oh dear) zombies.

No. I will be thinking about the birth of a little Boy in a manger who, perhaps even then in that stable, knew He was destined to save the world.

Peace.

Castle

I live in a castle.

I fold a hoodie, black, thick, and beautiful in its simplicity, neatly on the bed, just made.

I listen to music from speakers.  Nice speakers. Not $500 speakers.  But they are nice speakers.  They play the music nicely.

I have a plethora of pens and pencils.  Some are new, and some are old.  I will not be without a highlighter for years, and years, and hopefully years, to come.

I have an eraser.  It is two years old.  It's original size is no longer; but I still have the vast majority of it to use up.

I have a mini stapler.  It is three years old, and just as good as the day I first bought it.

Two pairs of gloves sit on my desk.  I cut loose threads from them with a pair of scissors that are over fifteen years old.  I could have used the newer pair; they're maybe ten years old.  They both cut just fine. 

My mother is my maid.  She does my laundry for me.  She even picked it up from my little cloth laundry box that sits by my door.

My sister is my butler.  She brings my clean clothes upstairs and sets them on my bed.

I have a bookshelf full of books.  There will be more there before the next semester begins.  I ponder opening an Amazon account to sell the books on my shelf I don't need anymore.

Two computers sit at my desk.  My workhorse, my three-year-old, my MacBook, and in the background my idler, my two-month-old, my desktop Dell.  Yes, ironic the laptop is the workhorse.  But I don't trust the Dell to go online. 

I am my mother's maid.  I do the dishes, clear the counter, help cook dinner.  I fold towels, socks, and other garments of such necessity.

We take walks, away from our castle, on weekends and unrainy days.  We pass by others' castles.  Theirs are prettier than ours.  But that's all right.

I live in a castle with running water at my fingertips, a cup brimming with hot tea to drink, a bed to rest my tired body in after long days, and a puppy to play with.  There are clothes - many and many clothes - in my closet to wear.

I do not own heirlooms.  I do not hold priceless finery, large baubles of diamond and sapphire, in my hand.  I do not have a T.V. in my room, I do not possess a two-hundred dollar watch.  I am not the monarch of Fortune 500. 

Nor do I aspire to those things.

I sleep on sheets that have been used nearly every day since they were purchased more than ten years ago.  I don't know how long it's been, exactly.

But I am fortunate.

I am joyful.

I live in a castle.

Nevermind

Perhaps you can expedite dating.

Read: Perhaps you can expedite dating. But me? No. I don't think it's for me. Not with this person anyway. I will continue to enjoy his company, but I really can't keep wondering this way. It's not going to end well if I do. I've been going around for the past week my brain completely consumed with thinking about him. Not healthy (not to mention slightly creeperish, even though I doubt he knows). I woke up this morning, decided I was going to forget about him and my ridiculous infatuation with him - and what do you know: I had the best day I've had in over a week.

Goal: Keep the trend going. (That may prove difficult on days we have class together.)

Don't get me wrong - if a guy makes a move, and I'm interested in him - oh - I'm there. But for now, this is the way it's gonna be.

Random completely unrelated sidenote: I'm positively sick of people thinking they can contract swine flu by eating pork products. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Expediting Dating

I suppose this is the question: Can dating be expedited?

In truth, it probably depends on the person.

You see, my younger sister just recently got a boyfriend. My older sister and I do not have boyfriends. I had one at one time, but that's a long story. My older sister has never had a boyfriend.

There is a boy my sister has been interested in for approximately way too long for nothing to have happened yet (thus, it is time to make something happen). And, she informs me, he does flirt with her. (I haven't witnessed this myself; I've only seen the guy in person once.)

There is a boy I myself am somewhat interested in, though I've known him for approximately two months, and I only see him twice a week - at school, in a class we have together, and for the half hour or so before class we spend talking about random things.

Here's the goal: All three of us get boyfriends by the time the month is out.
Here's the question: Is it possible?

So, if you were a guy I'd known for the aforementioned length of time, enjoyed talking with me (because, seemingly, he does), and appreciated the classroom antics we seem to be amused by, would it be incredibly forward of me to ask to hang out with you outside of class?

I ask for the heck of it, just to see if it could happen, and, well, to maybe end up with a very awesome boyfriend. And to see just how far existentialism really can take you.

Traffic Creepers

For the past two days on the way to work, I've experienced the annoyance of having to idle at traffic lights - behind creepers.

Seriously. The first day it was a dude in a BMW. He just couldn't help but keep sneaking further and further up, until he was nearly all the way past the stop block. I just glared at him for doing such, and then sped past him in the next lane once I had a green light.

Way to creep, buddy. I still got ahead of you when the light finally changed.

The same thing happened this morning. Only there were two of them - and they did exactly the same thing. Their rears tires were several feet in front of the white line. If a semi had come, they would've been screwed. I almost can't wait until that happens. That'll teach them.

Maybe.

Autumn, Lovely

I was thoroughly frustrated with my Flash project this time yesterday. Correction: I was thoroughly frustrated with a Flash project I'd already turned in but was asked to redo on account of Flash version differences. A pain.

No, my most recent Flash project has become my favorite. There are no pictures, but there are several sounds, and I thoroughly enjoy it. Perhaps, if I become savvy enough, I'll figure out how to post it.

So, since I've been working on the Flash project, it has merited the use of a computer. And where else to use a computer than in an office? I've been working with the door open all day, listening to the sounds of the rain coming in through the screen door. It's quite relaxing. I'm glad it chose this weekend to be rainy. Sometimes you just need it.

I do believe fall is my favorite season. There's something ethereal about that, to me, no other season quite has. Winter is my second favorite; I love watching it snow. That, and both seasons give me a good reason to pick up my tea habit.

I Came into This World to Find a Reason to Live

Camp this weekend is relaxing. I'm grateful to be away from the hubbub of suburbia. At the same time though, it's odd. I'm enjoying the tranquility, but I am not enjoying being the odd man out. I generally enjoy spending time with co-workers, but when they're significant others, it can be awkward. This weekend is a fairly perfect example.

It was nice though; we didn't have to make dinner for anyone tonight. A welcome reprieve. I believe I took close to a three hour nap after lunch dishes were done.

My friendship bracelets came off today. I decided it was time. I was able to get all but two off without cutting them. Albeit, some of them took a bit of time to get off, and I may still have slight red marks on my hands. I now have rather obvious tan lines too. It happens. Maybe I'll cave and look for cheap fake tan lotion so the difference isn't so noticeable.

Oh - and the title is from The Afters' album, "Never Going Back to Ok." The lyrics are from the song Forty-Two. It's quite a thought-provoking song. Like many albums and artists before it, I was not so keen on it the first couple listens. I am now. It's perhaps even better than "I Wish We All Could Win." Not to say that that album isn't also excellent. I just believe I like the former better right now.

Peace.

Appleton's Birthday

Oh my this is interesting. It's my MacBook's third birthday (alright, in all technicality it was the 12th, but still) and due to the nature of my courses (not to mention future career) Appleton got treated to some new Adobe software for her birthday: Flash, Dreamweaver, Fireworks, and Contribute. I didn't know what Contribute did until just a few days ago - it's a blog manager! I suppose there's a bit more to it than that, but I'm sure I'll figure it all out in the coming days and weeks. So, this post is coming to yo from Contribute. Don't you feel special now?

I love how I talk about my computer's birthday, and not my own. What is the world coming to? I turned twenty-two this week. It does not feel like I'm twenty-two. But I've got a whole year to get used to it.

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Oh my goodness. You must read this. You simply have no choice. It's the story of a young lady named Katie. She was raised in Tennessee and now lives in Uganda, and she is foster mother to 13 children. She currently helps a myriad more. Katie is a mere twenty years old.

I thought joining Mocha Club was good. Yes, it's a good start. But it is just a start. The fact is I live in the United States, I just turned twenty-two yesterday, and I am way too self-centered for my own good.

This is Katie's story. Read it and be changed.

I do believe I aspire to be her someday, or at least another form of her.

Fall Began

I had my first of at least three Mowana retreats this past weekend. I have two more later in the month; this coming weekend I have off though. I believe my little sister is grateful.

It's definitely a different world, being at Mowana in the fall, as opposed to the summer. I suppose I shouldn't say the camp feels dead when it's not summer... but it kind of does. I'm sorry. When I was just looking at it by myself, no one else around, it was kind of depressing. I suppose I will learn to appreciate the seasonal differences.

In truth, it's the people I miss. Without them, everything just feels so desolate and foreign. The camp smells are still there, along with the bugs, and the old buildings, Garfield the cat, the same pathways - even the same food. But the people are simply not there. Therefore, it's merely a shadow of the bright, spirited, laughter-filled camp I know during the summer.

Sadness. We're all different places now, and who knows how many of them I'll (or any of us) will actually get to see again in person - outside the digital chasms of Internet.

Why did I think going back would make me feel better? If anything, it made me miss summer more. Because my whole family wasn't there.

Pepperball

My HTML instructor is a pepperball. Seriously.

She accentuates just about every one of her written sentences with at least two exclamation points. If you could see her speech (literally see it flow out of her mouth), I'm sure you'd see exactly the same thing. You can certainly hear it in the way she talks, and see it in her movements.

She is not bubbly; that would truly, for her, be an understatement. No, she's a pepperball.

I'm going to thoroughly enjoy her teaching this semester. And as of right now, I sincerely hope I have her in the future.

Life-Changing

I believe there was a brief blip of time last semester when I told one of my good friends that I was not ready to get married, or to have kids. In that small instant I honestly thought about the concept and decided I did not feel ready, though I would very much like to - eventually.

That still holds true. For those two things at least.

However, I do believe I've entered the realm of feeling quite ready to live on my own. Now I just need to find the job that will allow for that. And I do believe I may have something in the works.

Nothing is ever set in stone, and I realize that. But I've come to the feeling (and, I honestly think, preparedness level) that (with God's help) a job might just be at the end of this road.

I did ask Him at the beginning of the summer that if I were to give Him my summer, I would very much like a job at the end of it.

Well, this is the end of it. School begins tomorrow (in the evening). And I've the incredibly strong feeling on my mind to go out and buy a suit for interviewing. Tomorrow.

Please oh please. I would love this.

New Philadelphia

Our last week was excellent. I got the pleasure of staying at a wonderful host home, with one of my favorite fellow staff.

We held the camp at Tuscora Park, just five minutes or so from our host family's home. We had around 100 kids. There were a few kinks in the week, to be sure, but what else is new? My kids were also rambunctious. But again - what else is new?

A few weeks ago I would have been very depressed to tell you I was coming home in a few weeks. But honestly, I'm glad I'm home. My room is a mess, my first load of laundry is in the washer, and I've been on Facebook instead of cleaning. (That'll be fixed soon.)

All in all it was a good summer. I met amazing people, ate delicious food, stayed at some incredible homes. But most of all - I got to worship God every day.

My first Mowana summer is now officially over - BUT - it is engrained in my heart and soul. I loved it. Every minute. And... there are always weekend retreats. BOOYAH!

Peace.

Loudonville

Loudonville was a good time.

I had ten campers: 5 boys, 5 girls. Going into a combination of 4th and 5th grade. I'm pretty sure the boys were younger. One of them had a copious amount of energy, which resulted in getting the group riled up. But when doesn't that happen?

We walked to the pool, about a mile away from the church, on Friday for their water day. We sang silly songs on the way there and back; it was definitely my high of the week. They absolutely loved singing songs. I heard numerous reports of them singing the songs at home, and still a couple more reports of the kids telling their friends about the day camp.

Our host family was incredible. Kathryn, Andrew, and I all had the house to ourselves because they were on vacation for the week. There were a couple end-of-the-week snafus which included an escaped family dog, and a cell phone charger and a camera battery charger I inadvertently left in the house (locked) because I was so worried about the dog.

But, they were taken care of. Which is good.

The summer is almost over. A few weeks ago I was incredibly sad for it to be over. But now, I think I'm looking forward to the future. Not because I'll be happy to leave. I'm surely not. Mowana has been amazing, and I've made some amazing friends. I am happy, however, because there is a future, though I may not know what exactly is in store for me. I did figure out this week that I will be going back to school full time for a degree in web design. Though, they are night classes. So a day job is feasible. We shall see.

Last but not least - UP NEXT (and for the final time this summer): New Philadelphia.

Peace.

Pickerington

Long story short: LOMO designs day camp so that each counselor generally has 10 kids or less in their group. We brought 13 counselors with us to Pickerington. We had 177 kids registered throughout the course of the week. You do the math.

It was organized chaos - to be sure. But it was fun. My kids were crazy but I loved them. I taught them how to make friendship bracelets. And once again several of the kids kept saying, "This is too hard! I can't do it!" And once again, ten minutes later, they were saying, "This is so easy!"

We read the story of how God calls Samuel on Wednesdays. My kids wondered about the Ark of God. I explained that the ten commandments were held in the ark. They were fascinated, and many of them wanted to hear more about the ark. That was definitely exciting.

My host family was a busy family - also to be sure. Melanie and I, who stayed together, enjoyed evening walks around their allotment. Not gonna lie; we were both glad to get out of the house. That house was the single hottest house I've stayed at this summer.

I am glad the week is over.

Chardon

This week has been astounding, and once again I cannot believe it is almost over.

I had a shalom moment on Wednesday night during the worship service we put on the for the church.  We sang A La La La, and did the 'milk another cow' verse, and the older folks sitting in the front row had tears streaming from their eyes they were laughing so much.  I couldn't help but laugh with them as I sang.  God was definitely present in that laughter, and I loved every second of it.

I also had my camper boys tell me they didn't want to make friendship bracelets, and that they were just too hard.  But in the next five minutes, they were making them and exclaiming about how much fun they were.

I had the privilege of working with two great counselors this week: Colleen and Ian.  Colleen, unfortunately, came down sick today and had to leave halfway through the day which left Ian and I with twenty-five crazy campers.  But they told me some of the sweetest things today, primarily that they wanted the three of us to come back for next summer's camp at their church, because they were actually having fun this week.

There is nothing so rewarding as knowing that you really are reaching your campers.  Yes, Fridays are usually full of goodbye hugs, but few campers actually tell you how much they've appreciated the past week; I've only really heard it from parents.

Our host family has also been incredible.  They are down to earth, and they feed us excellent healthy food (not to mention our beds are ridiculously comfy).  But those aren't the only reasons.  They all have hearts for God, each in their own unique ways.  God is present in their lives each day and it is a wonderful thing to witness.

Chardon has been a blessing.  That's all I have to say about that.

Peace.

Middletown

Middletown was wonderful. The ride down was fairly uneventful. I had eight great 2nd and 3rd campers (and they loved doing crafts, which was a relief), and a wonderful host mom. She made Abby and I the most delicious food.

The ride back to camp was, in a word, exciting. Columbus interstate rush hour traffic (and getting to merge in said traffic), several near collisions, and several cop sightings. But we got back safely, albeit it about 20 minutes late.

There's not much more to say about it; it was just that good of a week. I tried a new craft, clay crosses, with the kids and they loved making them. I will have to in the future, and it now makes me wonder why I haven't done the clay before.

Peace.

Cleveland Heights

Cleveland Heights was the most difficult week thus far. It's not to say our campers were particularly bad kids, or kids who had disabilities. The church is technically an inner city church, even though (as the pastor put it) it appears that the Cleavers live right next door. All but one of our campers were African American. They were completely adorable (at least my group was; I'm not sure how much pre-teens would appreciate being called adorable). Kathryn and I had the younger kids. Thus, they were adorable.

But they were a handful. The first day they were lethargic as could be. The next days they had more energy, but all they wanted to do was play games. We could eek maybe one craft out of them, but that was about it. However, by the end of the week they were getting up, singing songs at the top of their lungs, and one of our campers said one of the most adorable prayers. Kathryn and I both wish we could remember exactly what he said. It was just that hilarious and cute. His prayer was something along the lines of, "I know you're up there in the clouds watching us, Jesus. And Barack Obama is our president and we'll take things one step at a time. And we love you God." I had to stifle my laughter while he was praying.

The week, in a phrase, was "organized chaos." Even then, sometimes it was just chaos. But the church appreciated us being there and having the camp period. So that was good to know.

We did have a quite enjoyable time with our host families. We were able to visit President James Garfield's monument in Lakeview Cemetery, eat gelato and walk around Little Italy, and just spend time relaxing at our host homes.

Peace.

Northwood

This past week was spent in the company of some particularly wonderful children of God. Five of us drove up to the Toledo area to spend a week in the town of Northwood. We had a wonderful time. There were 30 or so campers, so most of us co-counseled, which was nice for a change.

The kids were great, and they loved singing "When We Worship God." Sarah (the other permanent outreach counselor, whom I will rarely get to work with) and I were able to co-counsel together, and we had the 4th through 6th graders. They were incredibly well-behaved and receptive of all the Bible stories, games, and crafts. We had a fun time.

Our host family was wonderful. Much like Vandalia, we didn't actually spend much time with our host family. Instead, they opened their beach house for us - located right on Lake Erie. We all got our own beds, and just two counselors had to share a room; the rest of us had our own. I got to fall asleep to the sounds of waves lapping the shoreline. It was incredible. Not to mention we got to go out on the lake one night in a sailboat - which we all got to sail ourselves as well.

Our church coordinator's fiance happened to be a retired chef, and he made us the most delicious meal Tuesday night at the beach house. We cooked over a Swissmar Raclette and made kabobs, and cooked all sorts of veggies, beef, chicken, shrimp, and carmelized mushrooms. It was delicious, and I would post pictures, but I have no way of uploading them right now.

All in all a very exciting week. I'm excited for next week as well; I get to go with two of the same people I went with this week.

Vandalia

Vandalia was incredible. That's all there is to it. Our host family was ridiculously cool; we stayed in their guest house. Yes - their guest house. Two other counselors and I for the whole week. One bedroom (that I got; the boys slept in the family room and they were content with it), one bathroom, and a whole slew of activities to do. They have a pool table, a Wii system, basketball hoop, a pond (complete with jet ski and inner tube opportunities), an old Pac Man machine, and a lot more. The view in the evening looking out over the pond was beautiful. Since the house was situated back in the country, the nights were very quiet and peaceful, which we all appreciated.

The food the church congregation provided for us was outstanding. We were never, ever hungry. We ended up leaving a rather large amount of leftovers in the fridge there was so much food every night.

As for the actual day camp, it also went very smoothly. I had ten kids each day, and they were so sweet. Many of them had behavior issues, but since they were post kindergarten thru third grade, what kid at that age doesn't have behavior problems?

Our church coordinator, Ellen, was also a blast to work with. She was incredibly helpful and always made sure we had enough supplies and volunteers.

Overall - awesome week.

Peace.

Port Clinton, Part II

If I ever get to a Part III or Part IV, you'll know I'm wasting too much time on the computer, just FYI. And if so - please politely tell me to get off the computer and back to life. My host family this week doesn't mind, so I'm very grateful.

The week is going well. My campers are calming down somewhat; chaotic was a good adjective to use on Monday. I was officially asked for the first time yesterday, by one of my campers, if I was married. I knew it would happen eventually. And I laughed about it in my head.

The Lost and Found concert was excellent. I got a few pictures. Maybe I'll post one or two if I get the chance to breathe in a week or two (and provided my sister brings the camera's USB cord when she comes to visit).

Two more days in Port Clinton. I must say this: I am enjoying the sounds of the trains passing by - they are very close to where we are staying, and they run somewhat frequently.

My host family also has windchimes outside. They are very beautiful to listen to.

I must get windchimes when I get my own place. They are just so tranquile and soothing (and even a bit surreal sounding) in the light wind.

Peace.

Port Clinton

The first official week of outreach has begun! We are in sunny (this week at least) Port Clinton, right on Lake Erie. It is a beautiful, almost quaint, town, and we have around fifty campers. The first day went a lot better than I was expecting. I have six campers who've just completed fifth grade. They are sure to be a handful at times, but I'm looking forward to getting to know them.

My host family is great. They have four very energetic children, and a brown lab. They live across the alley from the church, so our commute in the morning is about thirty seconds. Convenient!

They're taking us to a Lost & Found concert tomorrow; I haven't seen Lost & Found perform in years. I'm excited to go!

Peace.

Reprieve

The fingers are not actually broken.

Which also means I do not actually have to wear the splints for half the summer.

ALLELUIA!!

God, you are so sweet and good to me.

My parents picked me up from camp last night around 8:00 p.m.  It was strange yet enjoyable to sleep in my own bed.  My little sister decided she wanted to have a sleep over with me.  It was fun.

I woke up at 8:00 a.m. instantly thinking, "Wow.  The internal clock really has been readjusted." (We go to bed around 10:45 p.m. and wake up around 7:15 a.m. every day.) And then I promptly fell back to sleep after a few minutes, and did not reawaken until 10:20 a.m. when my mother came in and informed me I needed to get up.  The appointment was at 11:00 a.m.

The doctor said things only get really bad when tendons are severed.

My tendons are not severed.

So I should be back to camp in the afternoon.

I am so, so, so thankful.

This isn't to say the fingers are magically healed and I have no more pain; there is pain, and they are still swollen and discolored.

But I don't have to wear splints.  And that is the best part.

Peace.

Fingers, Shmingers

Oh...... bother.

I fractured two fingers - not even a whole week into staff training. They're not even on the same hand.

Joy of joys.

But you know what? It's actually not that bad. The staff are now my friends, and they've been oh so helpful when it comes to, well, helping me with things I myself am unable to do right now.

Aside from the occasional bug bite, a fair amount of early morning awakenings, weird animals noises in the woods, and the fact that it's taking me way too long to type this (grr....) I am having a blast. And, as I recall, that is, in fact, what my church family told me to do.

So.... the adventures have already begun! Until next post -

Peace.

Go Forth... and HAVE A BLAST!

I was officially told to go forth and have a blast by one of my church mommas today after service was over.  I never really thought of it that way before then, but I like it.

I like it muy much.

So, world wide web comrades (or friends I tagged in the Facebook note who decided to come check out the blog), I am off!  To go forth - and have a blast!  The Mowana summer lasts from today, May 31st, through August 15th.  We commence with two weeks of training at the camp, and then the excursions around the state begin.

I was up until 2:30 last night packing, and uploading pictures to Facebook.  I got up at 7:30 this morning (luckily it was the sun and not an alarm that woke me) and quickly remembered I hadn't scheduled classes for the fall.  Hopefully (God willing) I will find a job that provides enough compensation (and health insurance) that I won't have to go full time, but we'll see.  I was able to get in a full-time load, with strictly night and (unfortunately) one Saturday class. But, I'll take it.  No more griping - I am grateful to have the option; many don't.

I leave for camp in a few short hours.  The next time you hear from me, I'll either be out on the road with a quick update, or it may not be 'til the end of the summer.  Either way.

I am gonna have a blast.

Peace.

Too Much

I leave for camp on Sunday.  Yes, this is a good thing, and I'm very excited about it.

However.... (there's always a however)

There's too much stuff.  I'm going to say it again:  TOO.  MUCH.  STUFF.

The main question is this:  Why is there too much stuff?

Because, granted, the stuff will, if not all at camp, eventually get used.  But honestly, what have I purchased in the last week that has made my monetary assets drop to levels that I cringe at? (Tuition, people, tuition.  It's ever looming while I gather things I feel the need to purchase to ensure a happy, happy time at camp.)

So, just what have I bought?

Long answer short: Too much.  (Go figure.)

• A big, black laundry bag (for hauling laundry, of course)
  
• Detergent - my very own detergent - to accompany the laundry.
• Tide ToGo.  3 sticks, so my campers will be stain-free.
• A watch (good grief I have not worn a watch in years - that'll be quite a change; I've always used my cell phone as my watch)
• A mini Maglite (which, I am happy to say, I'm already quite enjoying)
• A new camera (yeah.... not cheap.)
• A new camera - for my sister - with the condition that this is the only camera I'll be buying her for several years.  Granted, hers was slightly less expensive.  But still.  The aforementioned rule also applies to the camera I purchased for myself.
• New running shoes (not cheap!)
• Socks - to of course accompany the shoes.
• Various assortments of tank tops, capris (which is a story all their own), and undergarments of varying natures.
• A swimsuit.
• Hygiene products of varying natures, which, will hopefully last me the entire summer.  It's the goal anyway.
• An extra bin to - get this - put all the extra stuff in while I'm away on outreach each week!
• There are probably several other things I've failed to mention too.  

Plus, it does not help that I've probably spent over $100 in food just in the past week.  Eating out = NOT COOL!  Why do I insist on doing it?  Too expensive, too unhealthy.

And All the While 

I'm thinking of the verse in Matthew, when Jesus is instructing the disciples to go and spread the good news, that goes a little something like,"Do not take along any gold or silver, take no bag for the journey, no extra tunic, sandals, or a staff.  The worker is worth his keep."  (Matt. 10:9)

In this day and age - would I be worth my keep?  Would the families I'll be staying with be willing to provide clothing and hygiene products for me?  

Surely Jesus's message was "travel light."  Which, I agree with.  In and of itself, it would be a lot easier, a lot less hassle, and, face it, kind of freeing.

But here's the kicker - you'd also have to have a tremendous amount of faith.  Faith that people would be willing to clothe you (or let you wash your few clothes), and say to you, "Yes, you can borrow our soap and toothpaste for the week."

Unfortunately, many people today would probably look at that and think, "Moochers.  Go buy your own stuff."  And so we do.

And so we do.  But I really wonder.  I really, really, really wonder.

Maybe I should try it.  Try going without all my "extra" stuff, for just a week.

To see where my faith really lies.

One Degree Down, x More to Go

I now have an Associate of Applied Science in Technical Communications.

I thought you ought to know.

I also thought you ought to know that I am much more excited at the prospect of officially beginning my summer on May 31st when I leave for my summer position at Camp Mowana.

I should also mention I've been going on near daily shopping trips to find various things such as swim suits, shoes, mesh laundry bags, and the like.

It should be noted that I am getting quite sick of it.

However, I'm looking forward to the challenge of cramming my entire summer's material possessions into the confines of one L.L. Bean bookbag, one medium-sized rolling suitcase, and one 18 gallon plastic bin.

Here.  We.  GO! 

Micah Shows Up for Graduation

To me, graduations have always been the epitome of world.

"Hey, look at me walk around in this robe, mortarboard, and tassel that the people before me called worthy of academic scholarship."

Okay, I admit, I was kinda happy to be wearing it.  It's a small accomplishment.  And, at least I got to sit in between my two best friends who also graduated with me.

The speaker's speech was canned, there were plenty of loud and obnoxious cheers for numerous graduates as they walked across the stage (though I did find a bit of humor in it), and - to top it off - there was even a (rather outspoken) atheist sitting behind us.  The two aforementioned best friends of mine, yes, they're also Christians.  Needless to say, we did not appreciate his antics.  But that is another story, not really worth mentioning here.

I have a better story.  The ceremony had an opening prayer - nice, but never once did we pray for God's guidance in our lives, only that we would help each other.  The closing benediction was much more joyous.  The pastor referenced Micah 6:8, my life's verse, and a little surge of joy emitted from my soul.

Countdown

I officially have less than a month until I graduate from college.

Wait.  I'm going to say it again.

I officially have less than a month until I graduate from college.

And now the shock factor:

WAIT!  When did THAT happen?!

Umm, I'm not exactly sure when that happened.  But I think it started, sometime, a couple years ago, when I first started attending the school I'm about to graduate from?  Around there?

I have less than a week - and then the papers are due  (this post is just a quick breather before I dive in again tomorrow).  I have one exam on exam week - and then I'm done.  Completely, incontrovertibly done.  Then I just have to sit there for three hours while everyone picks up their several-thousand-dollar piece of paper.

I might be glorying right now in the fact that I could, quite possibly, be done with school for the rest of my life.  But, I'm pretty much dedicated to going back in the fall for another degree in web design.  Ehh, such is life.

But then, there is the God factor.  The God factor that actually had me go to Hawaii, actually had me fall in love with Him (yes, fall in love) even more than I ever thought possible, actually gave me the brains and the will to maintain a 4.0 these past two years, actually sent me on a mission trip last summer, actually saw me applying to work for the same organization (but didn't get it), actually gave me what He and I both wanted in the form of a job as an outreach counselor this summer.

And I never saw any of that coming.

Life is what happens while you're busy making plans.  

Boy.    Oh.    Boy.     It's cliche, but it's true.

I cannot wait to see how He's going to work in my life this summer, and in the lives of everyone around me.  My campers, my fellow counselors, my advisors, my family, my friends, everyone.

Can. Not. Wait.

YAY!

Three things, to be briefly mentioned, but savored for a very long time:

1. Car.  I got it yesterday.  The title is transferred, plates are changed, and it still runs as well as I remember.
   
2. Teeth.  I cannot wait to get these stitches out of my mouth.  They're driving me nuts.  At least I'm not Vicodin-dependent any longer (and I can actually eat things other than mushy foods).  
   
3. JOB!  I get to glorify God this summer, and I get paid for it.  I can't ask for much else.  See the other blog if you want more details. 
   

Wow.  And all of that within a twenty-four hour period.

Ahh-mazing.  That's God for you though.  Oh yes. 

Elation

There was, is, and always will be a reason that things happen the way they do.

There's a reason I didn't get the YouthWorks job, there's a reason I've been teaching Sunday school for several months, and there's a reason I felt so incredibly far from God last night as I picked out (with dissatisfaction) the outfit I would wear to an interview I had today.  Not a thing I tried on last night ended up being what I actually wore.

Fancy that.

I drove over an hour to get to the camp I was interviewing at, complete with getting slightly lost at one point.  I felt frantic behind the wheel of my car.  I'm not used to interstate driving.  I like driving fast, but I'm not used to interstate driving.  I haven't been to the camp in years.  But as I crossed the threshold it suddenly came flooding back.  After a few hurried breaths in my car, I whipped my coat on and walked to the office.  The door opened, the director came out to meet me, and it felt like I'd come from one rush right into the next.  After a brief bathroom visit, I walked right into the next room, and they began their questions.

Flurry.

They asked me things I've been asked before.  They asked me questions I've struggled with before.  I answered as I have before, and paused at the same parts I had before.  Yes, I talked about Jesus, but it felt like I had no gusto.    It felt, really, like I was a big, blundering ball of inexperience.  I was honest as honest can be, sitting in a room with two people I'd just met, trying to pour out the heart God gave me in that instant, but it felt flat.  Rushed.  In so many ways, forced, foreign, even confusing.

Lull.

But they were very understanding.  They asked me to excuse them while they deliberated the decision.  I smiled, took my coat, and went to sit in the next room.  They shut the door and began to talk.  I sat in the chair in the darkened office, looking out the window.

And I prayed.

I did not even try to listen to their conversation, though it probably wouldn't have been hard.  I talked to God.  I talked to Him for what felt like the first time that day.  I stared at the back of a flat screen monitor, and gave that moment and their decision to Him.

Elation.

They reopened the door after just a few minutes, and the director said, "Well, the votes are in."

"You're hired."

And what could I do besides smile?  I'll find out.

I graduate in mid-May.  Training for the summer begins the very last day of May.  And there is nothing better than knowing that this is where He wants me.

Behind It

I know this has happened to me, and I get the feeling it has happened to countless others.

We read the Bible for the Bible's sake (to say you read).

We pray for prayer's sake (to say you prayed).

We go to church for church's sake (to say you went).

They call that living a life of appeasement.

There is intent there that so many don't realize.

There is someone behind that Bible.

There is someone behind that Prayer.

There is someone behind that Church.

It isn't money-grubbers. It isn't your mother or father chiding you.  It isn't your self-righteous friends putting you down and guilting you into reading, or thinking, or going.

It's God.  It's the Spirit.  It's Jesus. 

God is behind the Bible.

The Spirit is behind that Prayer.

Jesus is behind that Church.

They are all one in the same.

And the same is that they love you.  

They are behind you so They can keep guiding you onward. 

They are behind you so They can encourage you.

They are behind you so that through you, the rest of the world can see Them.

Grateful

I won't lie.  There are so many days where I do not feel grateful.  Today is the epitome of feeling ungrateful.

I had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday.  Today I began the horrid task of having to rinse my mouth out with warm salt water.  This is the part I find ironic: I love salty foods.  I cannot crave them enough.  When I was a child, I craved anything sweet.  Now, I truly have to be in the mood for sweet food.  I rarely, if ever, crave sweet food (cake, pie, ice cream, etc.).  Now, I crave salty. The day before I had the wisdom teeth out, I gobbled down delightfully greasy, hand-battered onion rings, and a big, meaty grinder, its oven-toasted bun stuffed to the gills with delicious salami, ham, capicola, lettuce, italian dressing, and mayonnaise. I won't generally admit to liking mayo, because it is pure lard.  But on a grinder it is positively heavenly.  Just writing about it is making me hungry for one.

Soup is also one of my favorite foods.  Quite possibly because it, too, is quite salty.

So why, for the life of me, do I cringe at the thought of having to rinse with warm salt water? It's salty out the flippin' wazoo.  I realize it has something to do with that fact that that's all it is: pure sodium chloride mixed with hydrogen and oxygen, served warm over a kitchen or bathroom sink.

Then there are the drugs.  I'm on some sort of anti-swelling agent, as well as a generic form of Vicodin.  I'm actually doing quite well with the Vicodin.  I haven't taken as much as I thought I would have by now.  Though I will probably take some again before bed, just to help knock me out so I'm not lying there for hours on end, daydreaming about things I really shouldn't be.

So what does (un)grateful have to do with this?  The fact that, through it all, I've been praying, yes, but not nearly enough.  That, and I completely ignored my Bible yesterday.  I was so tempted to today, but then I thought better of it, got a shower (I haven't had one since before the surgery yesterday), and instantly I turned on tobyMac after the shower, and thought to myself, "And why was I going to ignore it today?"

I'm not going to ignore it.  I am going to be grateful.  I am going to pray, I am going to read my Bible, and I am going to rejoice that, thus far, all things considered, I'm actually making a fairly quick recovery.

Not to mention, I got a car.  I get it on Friday. And I have a fair commute out to a job interview - at a church camp - on Saturday.  How can I not give thanks for that?  How can I not be grateful for that?

I've recently been pondering the thought: How "with us" is God actually?  How many of our steps is He really guiding?  How many words that come out of our mouths does he actually put there?  I get the feeling it may be more than we think.

I am grateful.  I may not be appreciative of having to rinse with that salt water, but I am grateful to have it, because I know so many don't. I am grateful to be making such a quick recovery.  I am grateful that that tasty grinder will be available for consumption once my mouth is back to normal.

But most of all, I am grateful that I have a Bible to read, a God to pray to, and a Savior who loves me.  Wisdom tooth surgery, Vicodin, salt water, lethargy, and all.  

 

Heaven's Song

The First Time 

I heard anything by Gateway Worship was in church.  "Revelation Song" was playing.  My sister and I thought it was beautiful.  A couple weeks later, we remembered it, and promptly bought it.  It is still as beautiful as the day we bought it.

But I wasn't sure about the band.  It almost seemed more like a compilation CD, and I wasn't sure who the actual artist was.

Well, 

My curiosity of them struck again one morning, because Revelation Song is so very beautiful, so I decided to do a little more research.  Oh no, I was wrong.  There actually is a group called Gateway Worship.  I'll admit, I haven't listened to much of their other stuff.

However.

Their latest CD, called Wake Up the World, has a bonus track called Heaven's Song, and it is also incredibly, incredibly beautiful.  I bought it on the 8th after listening to it repeatedly (via that aforementioned link).  Right now, it is fast approaching the twelfth.  The song has been played 81 times, and I'm still not sick of it.

I just can't get sick of this kind of music.

And I don't consider that a bad thing.

Taking it Personally

Our Sunday School lesson today was about serving, and helping those who are less than fortunate than ourselves.  The lesson did not go as planned.  Their answers were good.  Good, and unexpected to the point that I was left utterly speechless.  They weren't going where I'd wanted them to go with the question.  It felt like they were spitting the question right back in my face. And I took it personally.

In truth, maybe the lesson was a reflection of myself.  I have great aspirations of giving of myself. Eventually.  But the fact, right now, is that I'm not.  I feel so utterly selfish.

People have always said, "Don't take it personally."  That's all fine and dandy.  But does that mean you're not supposed to take anything in your life personally?  As my advisor told me when I approached her about it, "You have to have a forehead of flint."  I do understand that. These are different people I'm trying to teach.

However, this is my question: If you don't take anything in your life personally, what kind of life is that?

I thought life was about being personal, not impersonal.

Cider in Winter

It's March, and it's 59 degrees outside.

But I'm sitting in a little coffee and tea shop with my computer's twin (did I ever mention my sister has exactly the same computer I do?), and I've decided that apple cider far exceeds coffee any day.

Why?

Because it's delicious, it is warm, appley and good, this particular cider came with whipped cream - and an honest to goodness cinnamon stick that I am taking home with me! - and...

I got a large.  Had I gotten any large coffee beverage, it would have been at least $4.  Knowing me, and my coffee habits, it would have been over $5.  

The apple cider cost $2.85.

$2.85, my friends, $2.85.

Drink your hearts out.

Spring Break Rush

And you ask me what there is to rush around about.

I'll tell you!  School, for one.  And of course it is the biggest one.  I thought 12 credit hours would be easier this semester.  Yeah, of course.  Except when all your teachers decide to assign projects at the same time.  Okay, maybe it's not that bad.  But here, I'll list them for you:

1. Communication Theory project. Granted, it isn't due until April, but I'm trying this new thing where I don't put things off until the last minute.  Oh!  (We'll see how it goes...)
2. Style Paper.  It's due next week.  I'm writing about cliches.  Fancy that.
3. A script for my Writing for Media class.  We won't go there.  It's weird.  Though hopefully reminiscent of The Twilight Zone once it's finished.
4. Did I mention I'm the editor?  Yeah.  Of my school newspaper.  Easier said than done.  And I think I'll be glad when I'm done.

Those are just the big things.  I didn't mention all the other weekly homework to go along with it.

But I will tell you - there's a much larger driving force behind all this.  I get my wisdom teeth out.  On St. Patrick's Day.  I just want the things done so I won't have so much worrying to do on the other side of being two teeth lighter.

That, and that's just how I am.

Wiring, my friend, wiring.

45 Days of Lent?

I thought there were 40 days of Lent, not 45.  

Although, there are several Sundays, 6 to be exact, between today, the first day of Lent, and Easter.  Or does Lent actually start tomorrow?

But that wouldn't make sense either.  Why does Mardi Gras mark the last day of revelry before suddenly walking the straight and narrow?  Is Ash Wednesday just a go-between day?

I'm still confused though.  Even if you took Lent off on Sundays, that's 39 days of Lent.

What happened to 40?

To Not Limit: Part II

Here We Go Again

Oh, contemplation.  How you turn my insides inside out, and my brain into a pile of goo by the time you're done with me. No, truthfully, I do it to myself.  Willingly.  Sometimes with good results, but most often with visions of mind-numbingly long strains of work that, seemingly, will never get accomplished.

So what the heck am I talking about?

I'm contemplating going back to school.  It's not that I wasn't going to go back to school. I was. It's just that today decided to pop a different consideration into my head: Go for something you haven't been anticipating.

Great.  That wasn't the tentative plan.

Logistically Speaking

The plan was to continue on for a bachelor's in communications after I graduate in May with the associate's (and yes, I am still completely on track with that).  But what has my brain done with that?  Informed me that the institution I was planning on attending is more than I can afford.  That, and the degree I'll end up with is, well, a bit too theoretical for my liking.

It's not that I don't like theory.  I do enjoy it.  However, that's all it is: theory.  You can't get a job as a theorist.  I've heard too many stories of acquaintances getting communications degrees and promptly beginning their careers at WalMart.  I shudder.  Profusely.

So what's the plan?  Web design. It's always intrigued me.  I've always wanted to do a little more design-wise with this oh-so-humble blog (and the other one, of course).  Granted, there will be much more I'll be able to do when it's all said and done; this blog is just one small example.  

When I first transferred to my current institution of higher learning, it was as a web design major.

Getting Past the Unknown

I'll admit: There's something incredibly scary about pursuing this major. Reason being I don't know squat about web design.  Yeah, I can manipulate code; but only very minutely.

Although...

Either way I go with further education, I would still have at least two more years of school. Two years spent either learning more theory, or learning how to design a web page.

So, I guess for now I'm leaving it at "We'll see."

Oh, yes.  We'll see.

I've Never Written an Application

But I sure have filled them out...

There's something to be said for knowing peoples' full names.  I always knew there was a reason I wanted to. And tonight it hit me as to just exactly why: Applications.  You could have a completely flawless application, complete with glowing references, a fresh degree, some volunteer work, and maybe even a little experience in your field.

Then it hits you: Previous employment.  It isn't so much the fact that you have previous employment, it's more that you don't know anyone's full name there.  Seriously.  This has happened to me on more than one occasion.  I'll know their first names perfectly well.  But putting just a first name on an application makes it feel naked and exposed - probably because it's the only visible flaw.  I will agree that on a daily basis, full names aren't required (and thus probably the reason they're never learned in the first place).  But officialdom sure appreciates them, and will be sure to raise an eyebrow at you if you dare to leave it blank.

Why is it too, on applications, that they demand every morsel of information imaginable about your previous employers, yet only give you 2 inches of space to write it in? Are they really sending some sort of subconscious message to us? "We don't really want to know!  We're just required to ask!"  Is that it?  How many of those previous employers actually get called?  I've never asked.  But then again, in so many ways, I really don't want to know.

Indulgences, Really?

Pardon me whilst I get up on my Lutheran soapbox.  Catholics, I love you, I really do. But honestly?

This is why I continue to not understand Catholics.  They create law after law after law to uphold their religion, yet it really seems like all they can do with it is forget about God.  I hold great respect for Catholics. They believe in the same God and Savior I do, and for that I cannot fault them. 

I was going to say more, but I'll leave it at this:  There's a difference between penance and repentance.   Human priests cannot forgive sin, only God can.

Alright, I'm getting off the soapbox.

Being You

What do you like about being you?

A simple question, undoubtedly.

But a question that, for all its simplicity, could quite possibly take many their whole lives to discover the real answer to, is undeniably difficult.

I was asked this for the first time today, and I know my answer.

I want to know what your answer is.

Being You

Tangle

I've known about GodTube for some time now (over a year, I think), but I never visited much. Recently, they've kept sending me emails saying they were changing their name, but never actually said what the name was, and all I could keep thinking was, "So tell me the name already!"

Well, they finally told me the name a couple days ago: Tangle.  And suddenly the inexplicable urge to set up an account there hit me.  Seriously.  So I did.  Then the inexplicable goal of finding at least one "Tangle" person on every continent also came to me.  Thus far, I've found someone in Africa, and someone in Australia.  Not to mention...

Someone Messaged Me, and I Didn't Even Message Them First

I was pleasantly surprised.  He's a very nice guy from Indiana, and he asked me a very thought-provoking question (which, if you know me, I love): What do you like about being you?

What do I like about being me?  Dang.  He cut right to the chase - awesome!  That was beautiful.

So I had to think about it - what do I like about being me? What could I do besides give him an honest answer (and the first thing that popped into my mind)?

Here's what I said, in a nutshell:  I like being me because I'm free in Christ.  Yeah, I live in the world, but its things are not for me.  I'm not concerned with amassing great wealth and many possessions as so many others are.  No.  I would rather amass friends; moreover, friends I can help lead to Christ if they don't already know Him.  That, and I'm happy with the talents He's given me: enjoying good, thought-provoking questions, and writing (and, to a lesser extent, designing).  Hopefully they can also help me in being a good witness.

So I'm curious: What do you like about being you?  I would love to know your answers, so leave them in the comments.

Good Things Coming

I opened the Tangle account wanting to find friends; people with whom to build a good, solid, Christ-centered foundation.  1 is a small number when it comes to friends, but then again so is 2 - the number of days I've had the account.  I've got time.  I've got plenty of time when it's God's time.  By all means, I would recommend joining.  If anything, it's another way to build Christ-centered friendships, and accountability.

Grammy Sidenote

I don't know that I've ever been so concerned with the Grammys, and really, I'm still not. However, I couldn't help but notice - tobyMac won an award for his album, Alive and Transported.  I was looking, initially, to see if Coldplay had won anything for Viva la Vida (another excellent album of theirs, if not my favorite yet).  And yes, they have. Smile.

A Little Thought for Thwack

For some reason, I'm getting excited about living in a depression.  Call me crazy.  But maybe it's because I know God's in it with me.  And because of Him, I have no need to fear.

Pointless

My life is pointless.  

Would you find having a pointless life discomforting?  My first thought is that yes, you would. But I'm telling you now: I have absolutely no qualms about it. I have Solomon to thank for enlightening me that much. 

Yet again today, I've been frowned upon and laughed at (literally!) because I told my English instructors I would not be going on for a graduate degree.

"A waste!" my friend exclaimed. "What a waste of such an intelligent mind!"

Granted, I do appreciate that she thinks I have an intelligent mind. 

But I'd rather use the intelligent mind for God's purposes, and not the world's, thank you. Would they understand that though?  Sadly, no. But I do.  And He does.  And that's all that matters.

Winner or Loser?

What makes a winner, and what makes a loser?

My students this morning came up with a wide variety of answers, ranging from certain local football teams, to people who have the innate talent (or don't), people who try, people who don't. All their definitions were comparable to fairly earthly things.

What's a winner, really?

This is it, in a nutshell: A winner is someone who is righteous, honest, not slanderous of others, loyal to God, and someone who does not take advantage of others' poverty (sounds like George Bailey - imagine that!).  This comes from Psalm 15.

Interesting.  Not a word about looks, wealth, fame, skill, or intelligence.  Not a word about Fortune 500 companies, Hollywood celebrities, big homes, diamonds, or fancy cars being the stuff of a winner. But to reverse that - there's also no word about drug addicted people, promiscuity, murderers, liars, or thieves being the stuff of a loser.

All-Encompassing

He only tells us what a winner is. He does not say one word about what a loser is.  God loves all people: rich, poor, sick, healthy, addicted, Godly, promiscuous, pure, righteous, and immoral. We are all human - not one of us different.  Tainted, yes. Forsaken, no.

This Psalm, if in whatever small way, proves that by default, none of us are losers!

So please, never think you are.  Because He does not think you are.

Completely Beautiful, Completely NO!

Dreamworld

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you wake up from and instantly go, "Now why can't that happen in real life, but at the same time.....NO! That's not what I want!"

I had one of those last night.  Yeah.  Most dreams like that that I have revolve around guys, and getting together with them.  I've only had two such dreams.  Both of them completely lovely when I was having them (albeit this one last night was a tinge off kilter because he claimed in the dream that he worked at Pizza Hut, something he does not do - to my knowledge - in real life...) but then when I wake, I'm immediately left thinking, "NO!  That's not my goal!"

I'm not going to deny that I would like a boyfriend/future husband right now.  However, something completely unexpected is going to have to happen if it's the plan for me to get married in the next couple years.  I don't make this plan!  He does.  And I'm nowhere close to a boyfriend, though so much of me would like to be.

But... do I really want to be, or is it just something else talking?

Realworld

It's Super Bowl Sunday.  w00t.  The only reason I care is because I get to hang out with friends tonight at a youth group Super Bowl party.  I could care less about the game (though if the Steelers win, that'd be trivially cool).

The future is facing me head on.  There is only so much "bubble" living you can do before it pops.  Bubble as in - you're not entirely financially responsible for yourself.  I'm still living in the bubble.  But the days and weeks and months stretch on, and the bubble is growing thinner and thinner as I get nearer and nearer graduation, and the *gasp*.... real world.

Then the faith really gets tested.  I can't wait.

Keep it Simple, Stupid

No, no, no.  You're not stupid.  I'm talking to myself.

It's true though.  I waste countless hours fretting (okay, not really fretting) over what this blog should look like.  I've tried virtually every template Blogger has to offer, and more recently I've taken to looking at (and even trying a couple) third party templates.  But what is it all worth, people?  Nothing, really.  I'd rather not have an advertisement written all over the template.  So, I'll stick with this for now.

I know - white.  How original. You've got to admit though, it's clean, it's crisp, and it's a lot easier on the eyes than white text on a black background (oh wait... that's my other blog...).  It's a good deal.  White has been serving people very well for many a year, so I thought I'd keep up the trend.

Followers?  Really?

I like this idea of having followers - one of the new features Blogger has added.  At least it lets me know I'm not just writing this blog for myself.  However (and I realize they probably called it "followers" for convenience's sake), I don't really agree with calling it "followers".  Followers makes it sound like you're following some sort of cult, and I happen to be the leader.

Ummm... no.  Jesus has followers - as He should.  But me?  No.  You aren't my followers, and I am not your leader.  You just happen to read my blog - which I do appreciate!  I hope you've gotten, are getting, and will continue to get something out of it.  Nothing would make me happier.  Just know that I write it with the goal of being a good follower of Jesus, and thus trying to reflect Him as much as I can in it.

Inauguration Day for Obama

To be honest, I've never been overtly (or covertly) proud to be an American. To be honest, politics were something I used to shun (and still do for the most part).

But today, I was changed, if ever so minutely.

Today I witnessed an African American man take the oath of office in my country.  But is is not just because of the color of his skin that I am proud - it is because I see the content of his character, and what he intends to do with the country he now has the honor and privilege of leading.

He sees greed and corruption, and he sees people who will not take responsibility for their actions.  He sees people suffering because they do not have healthcare, and people without homes because they do not have jobs.  He sees an earth that must be taken care of, and he sees foreign countries that need to be the world's friends, not enemies.

He sees the changes that need to be made.  He didn't say the changes were going to be easy. He knows that growing and changing pains are inevitable.  He told us in his inaugural speech that the changes may not come rapidly, or incredibly soon.

But they will come.  They will come.

Dream Job on Hamilton Island

Anyone for a Dip?

Like this hasn't already been blogged about out the wazoo...

My parents came up to me on the 12th and promptly exclaimed, "Krista!  We have the greatest job for you!"

"Okay, what is it?"

I'll make a long story short: It's the best job anyone could ask for.  You get to explore the Barrier Reef Islands off the coast of Australia for six months, they provide all your accommodations, and to top it all off, you get approximately $102,000 USD.  All you have to do is blog about it, and post videos.

*insert jaw drop here*  No, it's not a fake job (though my sister still swears it is).  Here's the website.  Believe it, or don't believe it.  But at least check out some of the video applications. Some of them are good for a laugh if nothing else.

Needless to say, every English-speaking person and their mother is applying for this job.  And I get the feeling Tourism Queensland will end up picking someone with marine biology experience, which I just happen to have none of.  Go me.

If the inspiration for a really good one minute application video hits... I might.  For a lark.

Spring '09 Commencement

Wait - commencement isn't 'til May.  Drat.  I guess I'll just have to take the courses I signed up for.  I'm looking forward to it though (yes, I'm a dork, I know); particularly the internship, which, if all goes as thus planned, I'll be the editor-in-chief of the student newspaper.  And let me tell you - I've got plans for it. Big plans for it. Not that I'm dissing Phi Theta Kappa members, but my school seems to be overrun with them, especially when it comes to previous student newspaper content.

Oh, society.  Quit trying.  I'm not going to bend.  You'll just have to break trying to get me to.

To Not Limit: Part I

The Ponder

This is one of many steps in not limiting oneself.  Though why do I still feel as though I'm taking this whole thing (searching for a summer job) into only my hands?  It's supposed to be in His hands.

(And the many of you will then say, "So, put it in His hands!")

Okay.  So I'll pray on it.

Previously-Thought-of-But-as-of-Yet-Unexplored Possibilities 

I spent a good hour on the phone today with a friend, discussing the years she spent as a camp counselor.  I went to camp myself when I was younger, and I enjoyed it.  A lot.  So much so, that it seems like it would be another good stepping stone if I were to attend again as staff.  It's what I know, it's what I love, and it's definitely crossed my mind as a possibility in the past.  I know of four or five different camps I could be placed at, two of them being camps I attended for a week in summers past.

Existential Possibilities

The question today is, can I take this too carelessly, or too (as it sort of were) desperately?What about camps I've never even heard of, save for finding them online?  Doing that would feel very existentialistic.  But if their mission agrees with mine, and the task they set me is to glorify God, then what is the harm? Where I finally get a job is where God wants me.  So can it hurt to apply to a place I've never heard of before?

Praises to an Awesome Father

They say the Father works in mysterious ways, and that you should expect the unexpected. But with God, all you can do is hang on for the crazy awesome roller coaster ride He's put you on. Trust me though, it is all with good intentions that He does the things He does.

I found out earlier today, to my sadness, that I will not be YouthWorksing for God.  At least not this summer.  And, like the blogger I am, I posted this news to my other blog.  Read it if you want - I won't reiterate it here as it's readily available just a click away.

But someone actually posted a comment to my post.  I rarely get comments, so I'm always thrilled when I do.  Usually though, it's someone I know.  This time it wasn't.  So what else did I do?  Promptly went and read some of his blog, of course.

To this date, his most recent post was about that of the day he was going to take his life.  But then God intervened.  I will not share his whole story; you can read it in his own words here. I was completely blown away. Completely and utterly.

Just when I think my world, as it was, has come to an end (not getting the job was a big letdown in many ways), God immediately works again as only He can, introducing me to other believers whose faith is (I feel) so much greater than my own.  But I would have it no other way.  They are an inspiration and a true Spirit presence in my life.

I am not going to bed tonight depressed, as I might have done.

No, tonight, I am going to bed singing praises to God the most High, and to our Savior who has never forgotten us.

Blessed be the Name of the LORD! 

Life Goes On, Part II

I'll make a long story short:

1) I wasn't expecting to get a reply so soon.

2) I didn't get the YouthWorks job.

3) After crying about it for several minutes (yes, I knew that was kind of inevitable), the first thought that popped into my head was this: I was limiting myself.

Moral of the story?  I may know what I want to do for God, but that doesn't mean that's also what God wants me to do for Him.  What has today taught me?  I limit myself.  I limit myself so much. Once I pick one thing, then sent my heart on it only to be disappointed when I get rejected (even if ever so nicely), what was I really expecting to happen?

I know this much though: There is something out there that I'm supposed to be doing. Sometimes it's just not the first thing that pops out at you as a possibility.

Getting Published

Yes.  Me.  Published.  A nice little email was sitting in my inbox this morning when I checked it on a whim.

And what exactly is getting published?  It's actually a picture I took a couple years ago in Hawai'i, when I visited the Waianae coastline (one of the few days I actually felt like a tourist) with my aunt.  An Indonesian magazine called SPICE! is publishing it.

This isn't YouthWorks saying they want me (holding on that for now), this isn't an agent saying I've got a book deal (I wish...).  This isn't even any money from royalties (only photo credit; I put the photo up on stock.xchng, a free stock photography website).  But still.

I'm getting published.

ALIVE '09 Lineup

To give some well-deserved credit to a few other God lauders... 

My breath literally caught in my chest, and I stopped breathing for a split second today.  Why? I found out that Newsboys are indeed going to be at ALIVE this year!  I've only been to Alive a couple times, and both times it was incredible, even though I wasn't really excited about any of the bands that were there.  I should mention that while I liked other Christian bands on and off for several years, I consider Newsboys the first Christian band I actually liked with a passion (and still do).

So what would it possibly be like to be there and with bands that you are excited about? God only knows, but I'm imagining it will be incredible on steroids.

And, I should mention, Newsboys aren't the only band I'm more than a little excited about.

Here are a few more from the ALIVE '09 lineup:

Newsboys

Switchfoot

Tenth Avenue North

David Crowder Band

Hawk Nelson

Superchick

Seventh Day Slumber

Staple

Point of Grace

Skillet

Check out the complete lineup at www.alive.org.

As exciting as this is, and as much as I would love to be there, I still sincerely hope I will not be able to be there, which would mean I'd be at the YouthWorks job instead!  I still don't know if I got the job, but time will tell.

Time will tell...

Fisher of Men

What do I do for a living?

I could give you some long-winded description of the associate's degree I will be receiving in a semester's time.  I could tell you about the endless job possibilities I could get with that associate's degree.  I could tell you about all the heartbreak that will probably go into those jobs, all the company politics and drama, all the policies, procedures, and endless hours typing up to-a-T manuals that no one will ever read.  For what?  That's not me.  That's what the world wants me to be.  I have different aspirations.

Put it simply: I am a fisher of men.  Of all people, really.  

Now mind you, I did not pick this profession for myself.  At least, it wasn't something I initially threw myself into with great pleasure.  It sort of jumped out at me from the pages of John some Sunday (many, many Sundays ago...) morning in (where else?) Sunday school.

Did I even know it was my life's calling?  In a strange, inexplicable way, yes.  I did know it was my life's calling.  Did I plan it?  No.  Was I expecting it?  No.  Was I excited that it was my calling?  No.  But I knew, irrevocably, that it was.

So what kind of education does it take to be a fisher of men?  What education did the disciples have?  What education did Jesus Himself have?  They were fishermen, carpenters, tax collectors.  They were not laureates.  They were not rocket scientists.  They weren't Harvard graduates (or even graduates of lesser institutions of higher learning).

But they were convicted.  Convicted to be followers, convicted to be teachers, sharers, proclaimers.  But mostly, to love their God.

What do I do for a living?

I am a fisher of men.

Why?

Because I'm convicted, and because I love God.  No college education can give me that.

Family Resemblance

Growing up, I never saw the resemblance between myself and my sisters.  I'd think my whole family (either side) was crazy if they said I looked either more like my mom or my dad.  I didn't think I looked like either one, much less like either one of my sisters.

However, I believe this paradigm has changed.  More than once, I've caught myself looking quite like my older sister, as well as feeling like her.  I've found myself using similar mannerisms she would use.  Not that this is a bad thing; it just goes to show that I'm more like my family in looks and mannerisms than I first thought growing up.

Thanks to digital technology, it's now much easier to look at yourself in the face, albeit just a picture.  But since doing so, I've decided I actually look something similar to my grandfather on my mom's side.  Same distinctive nose, and (even somewhat full) lips.  Both my mother and older sister have these same features.

I've also been told repeatedly (much to my chagrin) that my general figure is that of my aunt's, only this one on my dad's side.  After living with her for a little less than a year (where the ability to compare and contrast was readily available), I must begrudgingly agree with them.  If it were a perfect world, it isn't the frame I would choose in a heartbeat.

But I will live with it, since I have no other choice.  It makes me wonder though - how many generations before me carried the features I now have, and how many after me will still have traces of the same?

It's a thought.