Crosscards

My friend Casey introduced me to this wonderful site while I was in Hawaii: www.crosscards.com.  Please go, if for no other reason than to enjoy the beautiful monthly desktop backgrounds.

After a dream I had one night, I woke up with this thought:  Everything manmade will eventually go to ruin, yet in the meantime it requires much maintenance.  But the things God created for this earth are perpetually self-sustaining, requiring no maintenance whatsoever.  Look at the trees and flowers.  They blossom, thrive, fall away, and reappear again the next season; no human maintenance required.  God is truly awesome.

Someone I Knew Once

Have you ever met someone in your life whom you did not get to know for very long, but then they were out of the present's picture again?  And then, have you ever found yourself thinking about said person(s) for days, weeks, months, even years to come?  Let me elaborate.

When I was going into eighth grade (I think it was eighth grade), I went to Geauga Lake with my church youth group.  One of my friends from church had brought a friend with her.  I took a liking to this friend.  But apart from that day, I've never seen him again.  Actually, that's not accurate.  I think I encountered him only once in a grocery store several months later.  But, it was only once.  But I thought about him a lot after the fact.

Same type of scenario, only a few years later:  As you all know, I was in Hawaii for a little less than a year.  While in Hawaii, I went to a Lutheran church there, and met the intern pastor.  He was nice.  I went to a bible study he was holding one time.  We were studying the battle of Jericho, and there were only four of us at the study.  After it was finished, we hung around, a few more people joined us, and we played some sort of game.  For the life of me, I do not remember what it was called (though, I do recall it was quite fun, and I should like to play it again).  We ended up staying at the church until around 1 a.m. playing this game.  At the time, I didn't think of this intern as anything other than a future pastor.  His year was up about a month after I arrived in Hawaii, so he left and returned to seminary.

So, why now do I keep thinking about him so much?  I seem to have developed something of a delayed-reaction crush on him, and it seems to have gone in spurts for the past few months.  Mind you, the rest of the time I was in Hawaii, I don't recall having paid the notion of him any mind whatsoever.  It's only now that I'm back in Ohio that I've started thinking about him again.  And what are the odds I'll actually talk to him again?  

That, and it all seems so long ago that I actually met him.  So, has anyone else ever had this same type of thing happen to them?  If, in the off chance that intern happens to be reading this, I would quite enjoy the chance to talk to you again, through whatever medium which may be available at present.

On a more not-quite-so-pipe-dreamlike note, they're announcing the NEO STC scholarship recipients tomorrow.  One thousand bucks.  I could really use the money.

Forgiveness = Elation

I cannot believe that God does not answer prayer.  After praying this weekend, multiple times, I walked into my interviewing class with the livid friend I mentioned in the previous post.  Since the day in question where I lost my mouth, we haven't spoken much, if at all.  I began to fear today was going to be the worst of all of them (or at least that things hadn't gotten any better), when she had more short words to say after I implied as much that I'd rather have someone else interview me for the coming project in the class, as she was going to, and I didn't want either of our grades to falter because she was still angry with me.  (In it's own right, it's a long story, so I won't go into details.)

To make a long story short, I get the feeling Purell somehow plays into it.  For those who know me and my little idiosyncrasies, I tend to pour a tiny amount of water on my hands when I feel they are too dry, and I have no lotion.  I had no intention of doing that today, as I had juice with me, and my hands didn't feel all that dry.  But my friend, who had pulled out a small bottle of Purell, remembered that I do this sometimes, and offered me some.

I don't know if that Purell was some random act of God, but shortly after I took it, and we'd moved on to discussing questions to a group quiz, I suddenly heard a, "Krista..." emitting from her.  I turned around, and she said, "I'm sorry."

I don't know that I have ever felt such an elation before in my life.  To have lost a friend in such a manner but then get her back is an awesome thing.  

Story of my Tongue's Life

God warns us of pride, and of having it, if I'm not mistaken. Apparently I still have too much. And today's incident would hold to the saying "Pride comes before the fall".  I was all proud of myself for having held my tongue for a couple weeks.  I was really trying to watch what I said.  And for the most part, I think I did alright.

Save for today.  I screwed up, and the moment I said it, I knew it. But it was too late.  My friend is now livid with me, and claimed (at the time) that she was no longer going to be my friend.  I sincerely hope this is not the case, because I really do love her dearly, and would never want bad things for her.  What I said was not out of hate, or to get a negative reaction from her.  As another one of my friends put it, it's simply because of how I'm wired that I act brashly the way I do.  That, and I'm still working on how to rewire myself so as to not say things which insult others, and as a consequence, make me feel bad that I even said it in the first place.

I should think it is an improvement on my part though, that I am at least realizing that what I said should never have been uttered in the first place.  Now... as to the actually not uttering part.  It needs work.  A lot.   And to this friend, if in fact you are reading (you know who you are):  I'm sorry.  I bawled my eyes out after you left, and I've felt horrible about it all day.  What doesn't break us will make us a lot stronger, and your chastisement made me a lot stronger.  I so wish you can forgive me.

Cookies, Salad, and SoBe. Can I do no better?

This really is pathetic.  My family is tight on money as it is, yet I'm finding the urge to spend frivolous amounts of money on food while at school.  Granted, some people probably don't have a second thought about spending upwards of five dollars on lunch every day.  And it's not that I do spend this much every day.  I just felt particularly bad about it today.  Two dollars for a 20 oz bottle comprised essentially of sugar water?  Even when it's not on sale, I could buy eight packets of Ramen noodles for that amount, and have lunch for two weeks (granted, it isn't the healthiest thing either, but that's another story).  The point is this:  How can I get on America's case for over-consumption when I myself am guilty of it?  It really just needs to end - for everyone.  

The salad was a bit healthier than I've had in the past.  But it was the most expensive of all.

Patience

Does it ever seem like the job/car/vacation/computer/lifestyle/goal weight/picksomething you really wanted always evaded you, even though you tried with the best of your abilities to obtain it? That has happened to me more than once.

But then - has it ever happened that once you stop wanting one or more of the aforementioned things - you suddenly get it? I feel as though that has been happening more and more to me. When I was little I always wanted a laptop - they were so nifty looking. And now, ten years later or so, I've finally got one - and it has been serving me quite well. The same thing also recently happened with a job.  I applied several years back at a local family-owned ice cream shop, wanting the job quite a lot. I didn't get it. But now, I just recently applied for this season - and I got it. How do you like that? It's interesting though. I don't know that I want the job now nearly as bad as I wanted it several years ago. It's not to say I won't enjoy working there now (because I will), it's just that I know I was a lot more disappointed several years ago over not getting it than if I hadn't gotten it now.

So let us see what happens with these two: I should very much like to get married (though maybe not right this moment), and get a car. I could really use the car right now, or so this gas-guzzling, can't-get-anywhere-fast-enough world would lead me to believe. Getting married can wait. I'm only twenty, and I need to find the right guy first (or he needs to find me...). The car can also wait, because I honestly do not have enough money, and a new new car will be sweet.

I'm just curious though - when these two things finally do happen, am I going to be nearly as excited about them then as I am now? I should think so. At least about getting married anyway. The first time I got a car was pretty exciting too; and it was only new to me, already having been ten years old at the time.

I guess these are just more examples of one fact: No matter how we might think our abilities can get us what we want, God is in control.  And He'll give these things in due time if you really do want them, and can use them well.

Father and Brother

There are only two people in the world who can claim the title as both dad and brother to me. And none of us thought it was possible to have a dad who was also your brother.... so get this:

I have the earthly dad, the computer nerd, David. That's what he calls himself anyway. But it dawned on me today, that he's also a brother of mine - a brother in Christ.

Then there's the real dad: the creator of the universe, and the earth I'm living on right now - Jesus. It feels really good to say that. Granted, there is more to God than just Jesus, but since He's God - He's also dad. But then, He's also saying that whoever does His will is His brother or sister. (Mark 3:35)

So cool. I feel that much closer now.

"Please Excuse Me While I Edit Myself in Public"

In the words of my high school sophomore english teacher, please excuse me while I edit myself in public. I'm not the first to admit it, and this probably isn't the first time I've admitted it: I am by no means perfect. And thus, I'll restart this blog in its original direction with a fair amount of humility. Even though I'm going towards a less structured, more lackadaisical feel with this blog, I'm still finding myself drawn towards something that isn't just some mindless wondering. All of my wondering has purpose. I spent the better part of three hours explaining this idea, along with several others, to a friend rather recently. Granted, I do wonder about random, fairly pointless, stuff. But pretty soon it goes by the wayside.

Nah.... I'm still curious about God, and my Savior. So, sorry to those of you who were looking for something slightly more appealing to secular interests. I'm still probably not headed there with this blog. God is still reading, regardless of what I write, so I'd like it to be something a bit more glorifying to Him, rather than just figuratively throwing Him out the window with this blog, when right next door, I'm lauding Him. 'Twould be a bit hypocritical. I'll make no bones about it - I am still hypocritical, even when I don't mean to be. There may be a few posts on here He's not going to be particularly happy to see, but they'll be there, just because I'm another faulty human.

Thus the editing myself in public - I am a Christian, but I am still human, as are all of them. But I'd like to embrace the embodiment of Christian with a dynamic, pragmatic vantage point, rather than a Christian who is just as static as a rock stuck at the bottom of a river. So many more before me have wanted to be dynamic, pragmatic Christians, but I'm thinking many of them failed, or also got stuck. Life isn't meant to be static, as we're constantly changing - a lot of it beyond our control. So it only stands that our thoughts, words, and actions should change too.

The word metamorphosis comes to mind. It seems that's essentially what all of life is. I'm amazed though, that so many lives cannot do that very thing, and so often it is actually through their own actions that it is impossible to change.

I will not be impervious to change. People have told me it's human nature to not want change. I would like to politely disagree with them here. It's society's nature to not want to change, and so they've bogged us down in their protocol so as to impede us, when all most of us really want to do is break out of the protocol, and perhaps do something a bit more..... freeing.

So where was I going with this? Metamorphosis, digital coughing. My metamorphosis is the coughing. When you cough, you're changing - clearing the phlegm from your throat, and thus bettering yourself (or at least your esophagus). My coughing is digital - written out in pixelated form so that you may see my metamorphosis, my coughing, my betterment. In the header, I'm saying take notes - because life is one big, long test. It is. And you're free to take notes from me, if you so desire. On what to do, and quite possibly what NOT to do. Again - I'm not perfect, so I may be a wonderful example. (And in writing this, I'm feeling my imperfection staring me in the face. I feel as though I'm being quite self-centered, something I'm trying to shun.)

I hope that wasn't too terribly confusing, and that maybe you got something out of it. That is all, imperfections blaring or not, I have to say about that.

What Is Anyone Really Worth?

So celebrities, sports stars, and Donald Trump and Bill Gates are all worth millions, perhaps even billions, yes? This is what the world would have you think anyway. But I ask you this: Are they really WORTH their money? I realize that this whole “worth” factor is actually the analysts discussing the assets' worth of these famed people; but the principle still stands that these people are referred to as being worth a certain amount of money. Maybe it just sounds cooler to say “Donald Trump is worth x amount”, rather than “Donald Trump's assets are worth x amount.”

If someone were to purchase, yes purchase, Donald Trump or LeBron James, how much would they have to pay? And if LeBron James or Donald Trump just up and DIED on them the next day - how much would we have to pay to bring them back to life? How much? Supposedly they're worth something - so shouldn't that amount of money be able to bring them back to life? Let me ask you something else. What about your mailman? Is he worth more or less than Donald Trump? And if he also died tomorrow - would it cost less to bring him back to life?

I ask you this because to call someone worth a certain amount of money is despicable. If a rich man died tomorrow, no man would be able to bring him back to life any more than they would a poor man, but the world would almost lead you to believe that people can be brought back to life - if the price is right. The price will NEVER BE RIGHT! Only God's price will ever be right. But in this day and age, so many of us have forgotten God's currency: Love, compassion, faithfulness, peace, grace. I would venture a guess that my mailman's life is so much fuller of God's currency than Donald Trump's is.

I've never been tempted to steal money from work. Not once. When I'm on the clock, money is a dirty, sticky, gruesome material that I'm forced to handle. And the most wonderful epiphany hit me one day as I was clearing out my till to count it: All this money is virtually worthless to God! HA! Take that, world!

So the next time you hear someone say, “So-and-so is worth x amount”, I would challenge you to look at them straight
and simply ask, “If they died tomorrow, could that worth bring them back to life?”

New Home for Lauding

I thought I'd give "To Laud My God" its own blogspot URL, instead of using DigitalCough. So uhh, it's pretty self explanatory: either go to my profile and click on the link for the "To Laud My God" blog, or, have at it: tolaudmygod.blogspot.com.

So, I suppose this one is going back to daily musings. But I'll try to make 'em really good daily musings.

For starters, I worked today. My there are some characters that come in. None of them were particularly irate, but they are characters nonetheless.

That, and I have been working on my second iteration of studying Romeo & Juliet, via helping my little sister and her group on their - go figure - group project they have to do for the play; Act V in particular. It's a lot more interesting this time around, and it's making me want to go back and read the whole play.

Funny how once you're done with various items of study in school that once bored and fried your mind to a certain crisp, you suddenly find them interesting.

What Is Anyone Really Worth?

So celebrities, sports stars, and Donald Trump and Bill Gates are all worth millions, perhaps even billions, yes? This is what the world would have you think anyway. But I ask you this: Are they really WORTH their money? I realize that this whole “worth” factor is actually the analysts discussing the assets' worth of these famed people; but the principle still stands that these people are referred to as being worth a certain amount of money. Maybe it just sounds cooler to say “Donald Trump is worth x amount”, rather than “Donald Trump's assets are worth x amount.”

If someone were to purchase, yes purchase, Donald Trump or LeBron James, how much would they have to pay? And if LeBron James or Donald Trump just up and DIED on them the next day - how much would we have to pay to bring them back to life? How much? Supposedly they're worth something - so shouldn't that amount of money be able to bring them back to life? Let me ask you something else. What about your mailman? Is he worth more or less than Donald Trump? And if he also died tomorrow - would it cost less to bring him back to life?

I ask you this because to call someone worth a certain amount of money is despicable. If a rich man died tomorrow, no man would be able to bring him back to life any more than they would a poor man, but the world would almost lead you to believe that people can be brought back to life - if the price is right. The price will NEVER BE RIGHT! Only God's price will ever be right. But in this day and age, so many of us have forgotten God's currency: Love, compassion, faithfulness, peace, grace. I would venture a guess that my mailman's life is so much fuller of God's currency than Donald Trump's is.

I've never been tempted to steal money from work. Not once. When I'm on the clock, money is a dirty, sticky, gruesome material that I'm forced to handle. And the most wonderful epiphany hit me one day as I was clearing out my till to count it: All this money is virtually worthless to God! HA! Take that, world!

So the next time you hear someone say, “So-and-so is worth x amount”, I would challenge you to look at them straight
and simply ask, “If they died tomorrow, could that worth bring them back to life?”

Guarding Your Words

We're so quick to speak it (whatever "it" may be). The words just roll out of our heads and onto our tongues without a thought, and before we know it, we've said something we're soon to regret.

So how do we avoid this certain catastrophe? Shut your mouth. It's plain and simple. No matter how compellingly persuaded you feel towards opening it; fight the urge. I know it's hard! I'm guilty of having opened my mouth on more than one occasion only to later meet my detriment in some form or other. Usually I offended someone without just cause, and it hurt both of us: The other party that I said it to in the first place, and me, that I later went back on my own elsewhere, and felt unconsolably bad about it.

I played the part of unexpected witness today to a rather wordy and somewhat shocking confrontation between a student and teacher. They both had fair points, but they also both had unfair points made to each other. Some of the words were completely necessary, and should have been swallowed with humility by the other party, but instead they were met with a backlash. Never in my life have I heard a student openly chastise a teacher. But today changed that. Being in the room at the time, I felt quite taken aback even though I wasn't exactly part of the conversation.

It does give cause to some other point of coincidence though, that this student also happens to be taking tutoring from me, and at one point in their heated conversation, I felt the urge to point out that this student had in fact been taking tutoring lessons from me (as that was the subject matter of the conversation at the time). So I did. And if it had been any other day, I may have foolishly intervened more.

But I didn't. Praise God for teaching me how to (ever so slowly) hold my tongue!

Their conversation ended, and I returned to the work my mind hadn't been able to focus on. Interesting to note though, that later, of their own accord, both participants in the conversation admitted, "I'm sorry you had to hear that." Well, the apology is accepted. Hearing their conversation was a big lesson for me in several ways. I just hope that maybe they'll both realize one day that it was a big lesson for them too.

To my Lord: Give me the strength to keep my mouth shut, and my mind open. Give others the strength to do the same.