Living in Wait

Oh dear season of Advent, your finale will be a bit longer in coming for me this year.  Oh, Christmas will still come as scheduled, yes, but I'm awaiting something with more imminent tangible effects.  I had the phone interview with YouthWorks on Friday, and now I'm awaiting the penultimate yes or no, which will either be followed by the quintessential scream of gratitude and joy, or the resolved expression of a different plan God has in store for me than what I wanted for myself.

And amidst this all, I wonder why the things that happened to me today happened.  I dipped my toes into the dark side a few days ago, but now I really have succumbed to its evil plan.  I was actually on my boss's good side today - a first since working this job - because I actually got people to apply for credit cards.

God, either this is some sort of added surprise, or you're letting me cave to the dark.  I really hope this isn't letting me cave to the dark.  I don't want the dark.  I've been fighting it.  But there's the key.  I've been fighting it, and not just giving it over to let You handle it.