The Apology of Apologies

I should like to apologize.

I'm sorry I'm not a better example of being a Christian. I truly, truly am. I put myself up too much, and I put you down too much more. My fellow Christians also do the same thing. What have you heard of us? I don't know where your life experiences have left your impression of me, a Christian. I don't know what sorts of crude, unruly (yet sadly, quite possibly true) stories you've heard of us.

I'm sorry I haven't been supportive and understanding enough. I'm sorry I haven't been as much of a pragmatist for the good, moral, just things as I should be. I'm no person of action. I've never worked great miracles, or spoken words someone got something out of. Maybe I have - but I don't know. Only they do, only God does.

I'm sorry for being the arrogant hypocrite I am - looking down at you as though you were less than me. We're both human beings, and for that, I should not inflate my pride, but rather my humility. You may have so many more valuable insights to life than I'll ever know, or even hope to know. I wouldn't consider my life as having been hard thus far, but that doesn't mean everyone's isn't. I'm sorry I haven't helped you more in your own struggles, helped you remove the burden - even a little.

I'm sorry I don't portray my God in the light only He can create. But then - only He can create it. Therefore no human could recreate it so perfectly - because we are human. We're tainted. Thus our witness to you of God is also tainted. How can I witness to you without offending you? I can tell you His laws until we're both blue in the face, but it won't get either of us anywhere. I guess I've known this, I just haven't realized or accepted it until now.

Can I create a relationship with you? Can I introduce my God to you with the best of my ability? I would love for you to know Him. I truly, truly would. His love is for everyone, not just my friends and family.

Christians have tried to spit his laws at you. And for that, I do apologize. I'm one of them - just another hypocrite. I want to try something different though. Can I show you His love first? Please? I would love the chance. He would too.